I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
