69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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