I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.