Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes