Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
now i know why i became what i already was.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
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Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe