dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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