We won't sleep together?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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