This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
