I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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