Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
