Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
