so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
