i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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