He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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