Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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