wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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