the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
