I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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