plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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