smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
