ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
