i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
