so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
