how can u be prego again
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
