I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
