Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Alive.
So much puke
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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