That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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