Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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