in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love you. Go after that dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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