Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
