I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
