my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
