dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize