I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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