I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
