we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
