Well apparently he's into motor boating.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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