Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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