and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
