he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
