3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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