he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
