24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
