It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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