TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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