Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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