Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
