I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
