I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
50% drunk capacity currently
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
