so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
