My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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