we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
