your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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