I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
