Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just found a frying pan...in my bed.

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  (410): I just found a frying pan...in my bed. http://tfl.nu/4wiq
  Replies (8) Good night (1402) Bad night (493)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?

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  (972): What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard? http://tfl.nu/a8hs
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (1110)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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  (586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low? http://tfl.nu/jj2a
  Replies (32) Good night (1221) Bad night (2732)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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  (205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/58rl
  Replies (38) Good night (691) Bad night (2926)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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  (717): fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/l3zn
  Replies (40) Good night (5532) Bad night (1287)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

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  (803): there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina. http://tfl.nu/qg49
  Replies (28) Good night (1089) Bad night (20226)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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  (702): Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog. http://tfl.nu/spgx
  Replies (8) Good night (1020) Bad night (5200)
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  (845): View more from New York

  if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian

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  (845): if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian http://tfl.nu/1pnw
  Replies (7) Good night (1404) Bad night (2757)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

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  (810): There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry. http://tfl.nu/kj1j
  Replies (2) Good night (2918) Bad night (753)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.

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  (423): I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/5s6y
  Replies (22) Good night (4414) Bad night (1111)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Touche salesman.

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  (402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (468)
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  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (932) Bad night (1910)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.

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  (443): Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it. http://tfl.nu/cvh2
  Replies (5) Good night (811) Bad night (353)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.

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  (215): tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts. http://tfl.nu/39iy
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (342)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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  (203): I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/mb1p
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (368)

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