oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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