I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
