i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
