I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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