I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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