About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
