You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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