And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
