as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
