Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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