Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
