I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
