It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
