He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
