I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
