I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
