we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Someone shattered a urinal.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
